Guilt – the hidden side effect of cancer



For those of you that don’t know me I am a cancer survivor.  It took me 14 years to be able to admit this due to the emotional and mental turmoil that comes hand in hand with cancer or any other serious illness.  I felt I had caused everyone enough hurt so I pretended I was fine and that everything was great with me.

I was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer at age 28 when I was 8 months pregnant.  I also had a 2 year old son at this time.  As you can imagine having cancer was nowhere in my plan of what my life was going to be like with 2 children.  I was totally engrossed in the usual pre baby things such as date of arrival, baby names, baby clothes, bottles, blankets, car seat, buggy etc etc…certainly was not focused on any aspect of being ill or having cancer.

To say this diagnosis blew me away is a massive understatement.  It was probably one of the first times I was ever speechless…which is an extremely rare thing for me.  When my doctor told me I had 2 weeks to live I almost fell away in a weakness.  I was looking around the room wondering who he was talking about and feeling terribly sorry for them.  I could feel the doctor staring at me and I began thinking to myself, was he talking to me, he must be mixing me up with someone else, which would have been hard at the time as I was 8 months pregnant and I looked every bit of it as I waddled around the place.  There was about 15 people in the room at the time and as I looked around at them all I realised they were all looking at me.  It was one of those moments where the last thing you want is to be the centre of attention but no matter how many times you look away from them when you look back again everyone is still staring at you like you have grown an extra toe overnight or something just as weird.

Obviously I survived and am extremely grateful to be here to tell the tale and share my experiences with you.  Surviving or living with cancer or any other serious illness does not come without its physical, mental and emotional side effects.  Guilt was a massive one for me. 

My daughter was born the night I was diagnosed. I wasn’t in the maternity hospital so she was transferred immediately after birth to the NICU in the maternity as she was premature and had other complications related to my cancer.  I felt huge guilt that I couldn’t be with or near her at that time. 

A couple of days later I was given the option to travel to London to try chemotherapy treatment my doctors thought might work for me.  This was a huge decision to make.  Should I travel to London in the hope this treatment would work or should I stay in Ireland and enjoy the days I had left with my family.  I decided to travel to London.  The guilt of choosing to do this was phenomenal.  I felt I was abandoning my children and family despite the fact that I knew it was my only chance of survival.  My heart was in pieces after this decision but I felt I had to take the chance in the hope of survival.

Thankfully I was back in Ireland a few weeks later but I was seriously ill.  I was on an extremely aggressive weekly chemotherapy regime for the following 5 months.  The side effects took a heavy toll on me. I couldn’t sit up and was incapable of looking after myself or my children.  I felt I was failing in my duty as a mom and the guilt of this was heart breaking.

During treatment my emotions yo-yoed to heights and lows I had never experienced I felt like a 28 year old in a 90 year old body.  This helped me to become totally consumed with guilty over almost everything to do with my appearance.  I felt guilt over losing so much weight, looking sick, not being able to eat, not being able to sit up, not having any hair, feeling & looking like crap all the time and this along with all the drugs I had to take played havoc with my emotions. 

I felt guilty over not wanting to go for chemo some days, despite the fact that I knew it was saving my life.  The hard side effects were just unbearable some weeks.  I knew I had to go in order to survive but it was just so difficult sometimes and took everything I had to get up, watch the children being dropped off to be minded by friends or family, knowing I was going to hospital to be sicker than I had ever thought or imagined was possible. 

There were times when I just wanted to run away or take a break or stop.  I longed to be the old me.  I missed her and I felt guilty I wasn’t her anymore.  I don’t think anyone could ever have criticised me more severely than the way I criticised myself.  I felt so much guilt for feeling like this my head was absolutely wrecked to say the least…… guilt – the side effect that keeps on giving!!!!!

Guilt always comes with a story based on something that happened in the past.  A lot of us are reluctant to let go of this story as sometimes we feel it defines us.  I spent 14 years carrying around my guilt which had a detrimental effect on my physical, emotional and mental wellness. 

I was diagnosed with suffering the long term side effects of my chemotherapy cocktails which include peripheral nerve damage & pain, fibromyalgia, costochondritis, chronic muscle fatigue, complete burn out and extreme low energy.  The majority of these symptoms are pain related.  I met a fantastic doctor who along with a few others inspired me to look deeper into the connection between negative feelings/emotions and pain. 

I began researching, reading and attending courses to learn the skills, tools & techniques and to gain the knowledge necessary for me to help me with my pain relief.  I was blown away to learn that when we let go of negative emotions and feelings we create an ease, a relief and a sense of space within us which in turn helps to relieve pain and makes space for positives in our lives.

As a result I have developed The Blissánce Method which I am 100% confident works.  It has had a huge positive impact on my life and I am constantly experiencing the endless knock on effects of adapting this method to my life.  Learning to let go of negative feelings such as guilt has made a huge difference to my pain management.  I am very grateful to have the opportunity to share it with as many people as possible.


Please do not let any negative feelings such as guilt weigh you down for as long as I did


For information or to check out my cancer support services go to

The Daffodil Package,The Peony Package or The Orchid Package click here 



What Guilt creates

  • presents as pain in the body
  • middle back pain
  • stress
  • inflammation
  • headache
  • depression
  • overwhelm
  • low self confidence
  • shame
  • anxiety
  • insomnia
  • exhaustion

It doesn’t matter how big or small our guilt is, where it came from or what it is in relation to, it still creates that same horrible negative feeling that has a negative unhealthy impact on our lives


Ask yourself

  • do you feel guilt or are you holding onto guilt right now ?
  • are you holding onto guilt from the past ?
  • do you experience regular guilt trips ?
  • would you like to free yourself from guilt ?


What is guilt

  • A negative feeling/emotion
  • A feeling of responsibility & remorse for something you said or did in the past…………aka A Guilty Conscience
  • A feeling of deserving blame for something that happened or from a sense of inadequacy that you have always had or a fear of offending people
  • Guilt is a feeling of blame & regret that totally consumes you………eats you up
  • It is a fear that you are unloveable
  • Often leads to feelings of regret & shame


Guilt is a totally useless emotion
It never makes anyone feel better
nor does it change a situation
♥ Louise Hay ♥


What Guilt steals from you

  • love
  • ease
  • joy
  • good health
  • happiness
  • freedom
  • confidence
  • contentment
  • physical, mental & emotional wellbeing

Don’t waste time holding onto guilt.  Learn how to free yourself from guilt and enjoy the endless positive knock on effects of the Blissánce Method.


If you fill your space and time with guilt and regret there will be no room for love

Carrying guilt around is exhausting, holding on does more damage than letting go


For more information or to get in touch please

click here to contact me

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